Jokes - Part 8
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checksits legs and angrily exclaims “71st and *again* barefeet!”
Sardarji is buying a TV.“Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure”
“Give me a green one, please”
Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?
Sardar: 19th january
Interviewer: which year?
Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year
Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children
Conductor: yes only if they are above 8
Sardar: Thank god I have only 6 children
Banta went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
“How did this happen?” the doctor asked.
“Well I was trying to commit suicide,” Banta replied.
The doctor asked, “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?”
“No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.“
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Jokes - Part 7
On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him.
Darling on ourengagement day will you give me a ring
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….
Sardar: U cheated me
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is allIndia Radio!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: Tipu’s skeleton
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
Sardarji calls Air India. “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
Air Hostess: “Just a sec,” comes an answer
Sardar: “Thank you.” its very fast.
Jokes - Part 6
Person 1: WHY DID Sardar TAKE HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO PIZZA CORNER?
Person 2: FOR FREE DELIVERY.
Person 2: FOR FREE DELIVERY.
Person 1: WHY DID Sardar SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE WRITING EXAMS?
Person 2: COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER"ANSWER IN BRIEF
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab
Boss : which part ?
sardar : What which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar whyare you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Jokes - Part 5
Principal: If a boy is found in girl's hostel, he will be fined $20 first time, $30 second time and $50 third time.
Student: What will you charge for a Monthly Pass, Sir?
Teacher: Robin, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?
Robin: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?
Student: HIJKLMNO
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Student: Yesterday you said H to O.
Wife: Why have you increased speed of car?
Husband: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Man: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.
Jokes - Part 4
Person 1: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Person 2: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.
Person 1: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Person 2: Yes, their dog is our dog's cousin brother.
Two Persons got tired using cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this scheme worked very fine.
One day First Person sends his pigeon. Second Person sees the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks First Person
Second Person: The pigeon is without any message.
First Person: Hey Fool, that was a missed call.
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
Woman: "Why?"
Man: "Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
A Person applied for the post of a detective. In the interview he was asked a question:
Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?
Person : I will tell you tomorrow.
Person come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.
Jokes - Part 3
A Minister decides to study English.
He learns an essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam an essay on 'FATHER' comes.
He replaced friend with father in the essay.
It read: I am a very fatherly person, I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some are female. I have a new neighbor, I wish to make him my new father.
Person 1: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Person 2: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!
In India, we have only Postmen, but no Postwomen, why?
Because, they take 9 months for delivery.
Why did women cricket spinner slap commentator Ravi Shastri ?
Because Shastri said: She is ready for next delivery.
Man to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: $200 for 3 questions.
Man: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?
Jokes - Part 2
Person 1: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Person 2: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
Person 1: Need still FASTER
Person 2: Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
First Person to Second Person: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Second Person rushed home angrily. After half an hour, he came back and slapped the First Person and said You fool, he is not my friend.
Husband sent an SMS to his pregnant wife.
A couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance.
The report said: "Delivered".
Husband: If I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Husband: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give5 to Priya,3 to Sonia and 2 to Nehathen what will u get????
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Student: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!
Riddles - Part 3
1. What kind of stones are never found in the ocean?
2. What do you call a fish without an eye?
3. What do you call your father-in-law's only child's mother-in-law?
4. Why won't bikes stand up by themselves?
5. What 11-letter English word does everyone pronounce incorrectly?
Got ur Answer, YES..... Check ur Answer is Correct or Not
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1. Dry Stones
2. Fish
3. MOM
4. Because they are two tired (too Tired)
5. incorrectly
Riddles - Part 2
1. What goes up but never goes down?
2. If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become?
3. What is in the middle of Paris?
4. What building has the most stories?
5. What city has no people?
Got ur Answer, YES..... Check ur Answer is Correct or Not
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1. ur Age
2. WET
3. Letter 'R'
4. Library
5. Electricity
Riddles - Part 1
1. What has 3 heads, is ugly, and smells bad?
2. Would you rather have a tiger eat you or a lion?
3. Why didn't the lady run away from the attacking lion?
4. Why do lions eat raw meat?
5. Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Got ur Answer, YES..... Check ur Answer is Correct or Not
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1. oops! there is no living being with three heads
2. i'd rather have a tiger eat a lion
3. because other told her it is a maneating lion
4. Because they never learned to cook
5. Because Pepper water make them sneeze
Jokes - Part 1
A Person returns from China.
He asks wife: Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No.
Husband: Look carefully, do I look like a foreigner?
She again replies: No.
He yells: All those women in China were fools. Where ever I visited, they all said: "Look a foreigner"
One Husband and Wife were on African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged his Wife with his jaws.
Wife: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Husband: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.
A young woman had given birth in the elevator of a New Delhi hospital. She was embarrassed about it.
Doctor: Don't feel bad. Two years back, a lady delivered in the lawn of this hospital.
The lady burst out crying and said:I know..., that was me, too.
Customer: When I type password, it just shows star star star star.
Help Desk: Those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Customer: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!
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